Hi again bloggers!
- Is it okay to have a wedding cake at my vow renewal reception?
- Is it wrong to want a bridal shower?
- My husband and I have been married for about one year and are renewing our vows next spring. Since I never had a bachelorette party the first time around, I really want to have one this time. How do I ask my Honor Attendant to put this together?
These are just a few of the questions we receive everday concerning vow renewal ceremonies. Couples want to renew their wedding vows for a variety of reasons, yet most want to have a better understanding of the proper etiquette. Wedding vow renewals can be divided into these three areas: before, during, and after the ceremony (the party). The following is a guide to the appropriate etiquette for each of these phases.
Vow Renewals are not second weddings.
Unless somewhere along the way to happily ever after you and your spouse divorced and are now remarrying, this is not a second wedding. This is, however, an opportunity to reaffirm your marriage vows and love of one another, or perhaps a chance to have your marriage blessed by the church.
Bachelor/bachelorette parties?
These parties are typically thought of as your “last night out as a single person”, so, as tempting as it may sound, the fact is that the last hurrah ship sailed a long time ago. You are a married couple.
Shower with love, not with gifts.
Traditionally, the bridal shower is a time when friends and family can shower the bride with items she will need to begin her married life. A shower is also an event to help make guests feel as if they are a part of the wedding planning process. Again, you are already married and have a home set up. When it comes to vow renewals, encourage friends and family to shower you with love and support, rather than gifts.
Bundle your love in a bouquet.
Flowers are perfect for most occasions, and your reafirmation ceremony is no exception. Put together you bouquet with care and consideration, so that it reflects your love for one another.
Reaffirmation rings are often part of the ceremony.
While some couples have a real connection to their wedding rings, others view the vow renewal ceremony as an opportunity to exchange new rings. Whatever you chose, be sure to discuss this sensitive issue thoroughly with your spouse.
AFTER the Vow Renewal Ceremony (RECEPTION or PARTY)
Couples often have numerous quations about the party that follows their vow renewal ceremony. Can it be a giant bash? Can the party have traditional wedding reception components? While the reception (party) can be similar to a wedding reception, there should be notable differences.
Use a receiving line for large gatherings.
All of your guests should be acquainted with you, but for large gatherings it is helpful to form a receiving line so you may introduce your children or other family members to your guests. Because you are the host, you will be the first in line.
The traditional reception dances will be different.
The father/daughter dance just doesn’t seem right, does it? After all, the wife has been living with her husband for some time. So, while you may not to include all those traditional dances as part of your reception, you could still dance a couple’s first dance which will signify the first dance of the next phaseof their life together. You might also consider inventing some of your own dances. For instance, you could call all couples to the dance floor who have been married for ten years or more.
Not so much a wedding cake as an ‘anniversary’ type cake.
The reaffirmation cake is sometimes recreated from the couple’s wedding including the topper. However, this should be more of an anniversary type cake. So, including writing on the cake would be appropriate.
Toast away!
Toasts are a great way to celebrate the couple in this new phase of their life. Of course, for a reaffirmation ceremonyor vow renewal, the toasts should reflect upon the couple’s continued love, not upon the couple finding each other (as it is for the wedding reception). Keep in mind, though, that there is no best man toast because there is no best man. The wife already married her best man.
Toss out the garter and bouquet toss.
You’re not alone if you find these traditions more than just silly for a married couple. Would you believe that both of these customs began as a way to keep wedding guests from tearing the brides clothes?! It was viewed as good luck to snatch a piece of her clothing. Perhaps you can create a new tradition of your own, instead.
Whatever you chose to include in your wedding vow renewal ceremony, use good, common sense. Consider your guests opinions about your event and ask yourself why you are hosting it in the first place. If you consider everything, you’ll probably avoid any major etiquette faux pas. So, enjoy yourself and each other and create an affair to remember.
By Rebecca Black
www.idotaketwo.com